Hello all,
Today, we jumped out of a plane, and we worked to figure out if we were pessimistic or optimistic.
Speaking of pessimism and optimism, we then moved to discussing the issues raised in the take20 video. We round-tabled shared for a bit, and we made observations about the notion of feedback and professors.
We then did some small group workshopping. We focused on thinking about the connections between responding to writing as an professor and responding to writing as a student. We presented our ideas from the groups to everyone. We then discussed some criteria for responding to drafts. We compiled our list, which we will use to craft one to two paragraph responses to ourselves and to our blind peer drafts for Tuesday.
Here is the list:
A strong paper will have:
-Point is proven well
-Good Use of Diction
-Good analysis
-Consistent topic and main idea
-A clear, defined emphasis on the main idea of the paper
-A logical and "flowing" progression of ideas, along with explanation of the subtopics as the paper gets more in depth.
-Ideas placed in an orderly fashion to establish paper structure.
-Focus on the writing process
-Make a point and support it
-Describe writing process in an organized way
-Stays to one idea/topic
-Gives details/specific/ proof of main topic
-Easy to comprehend/flows/each paragraph is connected
-A clear topic
-A clear development
-Explore all perspectives
A weak paper will:
-Be vague
-Lack organization
-Explores only personal opinions
-Have no focus
-Have incomplete ideas
-Have poor analysis
-Poor/inappropriate diction
-Mention ideas that are irrelevant to the main topic of the paper
-Has thoughts scattered throughout and doesn't flow within the paper
-Has ideas placed randomly within the paper, with not structure of ideas
-Wanders or goes on tangents
-Doesn't make a point nor give any support
-Is unstructured and chaotic
-Has information that doesn't apply to the topic/scattered
-Doesn't support thesis or give details on the topic
-Hard to follow ideas/scattered/doesn't follow order of thesis or how it is introduced in the introduction
We then distributed the blind peer reviews drafts. (For Allison, Baalika, and Clare I will need you to contact me to get your copies). We also turned in a copy to me.
For Friday:
We don't have traditional class, so work on your peer and self reviews.
Remember, read your paper and your peer's paper a few times (you may want to record it), before you make comments.
Using the above list of strengths and weaknesses, craft a one to two paragraph overview of your peer's and your own texts.
Post your self evaluation on your blog. Bring your peer evaluation to class on Tuesday.
I will give you your texts with my comments on Tuesday.
Take care, and thanks,
Kat
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
For Tuesday
Hello all,
Today, we did an exercise about donuts and expectations. Blaze expressed his expectations about the exercises. Thanks Blaze for your insights!!
We also talked about the revising process and the reading process. Remember you will be exploring your writing process from a different perspective on Tuesday, as you will be evaluating and grading your peers and your own work. This is gonna be fun, but it will probably be a little hard.
For Tuesday,
"Read" Take20 link at http://www.bedfordstmartins.com/take20/
Go to the right hand link that says "questions" and select #16. Watch the answers to "How do you respond to students writing."
Post a summary and response to the reading on your blog.
Revise your project one draft
(Bring two copies to class: one with your name on it and one without)
Take care, and have a great weekend.
Kat
Today, we did an exercise about donuts and expectations. Blaze expressed his expectations about the exercises. Thanks Blaze for your insights!!
We also talked about the revising process and the reading process. Remember you will be exploring your writing process from a different perspective on Tuesday, as you will be evaluating and grading your peers and your own work. This is gonna be fun, but it will probably be a little hard.
For Tuesday,
"Read" Take20 link at http://www.bedfordstmartins.com/take20/
Go to the right hand link that says "questions" and select #16. Watch the answers to "How do you respond to students writing."
Post a summary and response to the reading on your blog.
Revise your project one draft
(Bring two copies to class: one with your name on it and one without)
Take care, and have a great weekend.
Kat
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
For Friday
Hello all,
Today, we took a journey through the desert to see what help we needed from our peers, and also to experience what roadblocks we may have face in the future.
We then shifted to discussing the Burkdall reading. Many people presented some engaged issues relating to the reading, and we had a productive discussion. Blaze mentioned that Burkdall only uses sources from the past to address his concerns, when he should use more contemporary critics. Dean suggests that the methods used by Burkdall take us away from the issues he wants us to explore. Baalika mentioned that reading has changed, and that for the most part, a lot of great research is done using the internet and other medias. Breena and Allison both illustrated the desire to use the internet and the resources as a tool. Mia mentioned the use of technology to aid in research i.e. using the find/search option to locate information. Bret highlighted the dangers of the internet when used to pirate or steal information or art. We also discussed books in general as a technology, to which Blaze contributed a great analogy of the passivity of watching versus the activity of doing when he suggest it was like driving or riding in a car.
The discussion of oral, written, and technological driven literacy really ended the conversation. I think that as we move forward we need to continue to think and to investigate how we "read" and how we "write" in the various areas.
We spent a good amount of time talking about revision and strategies for revision. We shared some ideas about what "revision" is and how it functions. You are all going to be working on aspects of revision for Friday. Remember, you need to:
1. Select your most current draft
2. Read and record your most current draft (using for pc sayandpost.com or for mac
You may also use your cell phone or another product such as http://www.mymusictools.com/download/voice-recorder/
3. Listen to your recording and make notes about what you are hearing. Remember to rewind and really listen.
4. Create one statement where you say what your text is doing and what your texts is saying.
5. Go paragraph by paragraph listing what each paragraph is doing and saying (you can use a chart if you like).
6. Bring these exercise to class
We also spent the last portion of the time having grammar time. We went to http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quiz_list.htm
We explored the first exercise and discussed some basic grammar functions.
For Friday
Revision work
Start revising Draft for instructor review on Tuesday
Thanks and take care,
Kat
Today, we took a journey through the desert to see what help we needed from our peers, and also to experience what roadblocks we may have face in the future.
We then shifted to discussing the Burkdall reading. Many people presented some engaged issues relating to the reading, and we had a productive discussion. Blaze mentioned that Burkdall only uses sources from the past to address his concerns, when he should use more contemporary critics. Dean suggests that the methods used by Burkdall take us away from the issues he wants us to explore. Baalika mentioned that reading has changed, and that for the most part, a lot of great research is done using the internet and other medias. Breena and Allison both illustrated the desire to use the internet and the resources as a tool. Mia mentioned the use of technology to aid in research i.e. using the find/search option to locate information. Bret highlighted the dangers of the internet when used to pirate or steal information or art. We also discussed books in general as a technology, to which Blaze contributed a great analogy of the passivity of watching versus the activity of doing when he suggest it was like driving or riding in a car.
The discussion of oral, written, and technological driven literacy really ended the conversation. I think that as we move forward we need to continue to think and to investigate how we "read" and how we "write" in the various areas.
We spent a good amount of time talking about revision and strategies for revision. We shared some ideas about what "revision" is and how it functions. You are all going to be working on aspects of revision for Friday. Remember, you need to:
1. Select your most current draft
2. Read and record your most current draft (using for pc sayandpost.com or for mac
You may also use your cell phone or another product such as http://www.mymusictools.com/download/voice-recorder/
3. Listen to your recording and make notes about what you are hearing. Remember to rewind and really listen.
4. Create one statement where you say what your text is doing and what your texts is saying.
5. Go paragraph by paragraph listing what each paragraph is doing and saying (you can use a chart if you like).
6. Bring these exercise to class
We also spent the last portion of the time having grammar time. We went to http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quiz_list.htm
We explored the first exercise and discussed some basic grammar functions.
For Friday
Revision work
Start revising Draft for instructor review on Tuesday
Thanks and take care,
Kat
Friday, September 11, 2009
For Tuesday
Hello all,
Today, we went to the "metaphoric" candy shop and explored our dependence on others. This exercise helped to get us prepped to talk about the process of peer reviewing and being engaged contributors.
We first explored the importance of reading to writing. We discussed how reading and writing are connected. Sarah, Brenna, Alex, and Dean helped to initiate the conversation about reading things we "like" and reading things "we don't like" differs. We then moved onto thinking about how reading for learning differs from reading for other purposes. Blaze, Bret, Monica, and Baalika helped to distinguish between these ideas in reading and in writing. Lastly, we discussed the ways reading and writing are in concert. Amanda, Mia, and Jessica helped to explore ways of interrelationship between the two ways.
The goal of this conversation was to discuss what makes writing interesting and effective and how when we read other's works we need to think about being engaged with both the reading and with the writing that created the reading. In addition, we are beginning to develop the class's own rhetorical terminology for the writing process, so this discussion is contributing to that discourse.
We then held the first Informal peer workshop for students to read each other's essays. This exercise is meant to prompt the writer to come up with questions for the writers as well as ideas for their own essays. We had a three-prong method:
1. First we read as a "peer"-this means that we read the text looking for concerns of audience, expectations, and effective textual elements.
2. Then we read the paper as a "prof"-this means that we read the text looking for concerns of diction, syntax, and coherence. We looked for elements of unity and "fit" or "flow" in this manner. We also looked for word choice and sentence variety.
3. The we read as "the evil one"-this means that we read the text looking for the big connections i.e. between word, ideas, sentences, and the evidence of telling i.e. observations and showing i.e. evidence and support.
We are not making comments on grammar for this first peer review.
We then talked about crafting a revision plan. Your revision plan should use the feedback that you received from your peers. You will craft a short (250 word max) response following this structure.
I agree with: (list a few ideas that your peer contributed that you agree with)
I plan to (describe the changes that you will make to your texts)
my schedule for revisions is (list the a time frame for your work)
and I believe statement (forecast the success of your revision and polished documents)
I didn't have the chance to "check" your Elbow/Bartholomae exercises (i.e. cubing and questioning). Can you please post those on your blog or email them to me.
For Tuesday:
Read “The Persistence of Reading” Burkdall on moodle
Post a short summary and two questions of the reading on your blog
Craft a revision plan for your writing (post on blog)
Post your Elbow/Bartholomae writing exercise on your blog.
Thanks so much and have a great weekend,
Kat
Today, we went to the "metaphoric" candy shop and explored our dependence on others. This exercise helped to get us prepped to talk about the process of peer reviewing and being engaged contributors.
We first explored the importance of reading to writing. We discussed how reading and writing are connected. Sarah, Brenna, Alex, and Dean helped to initiate the conversation about reading things we "like" and reading things "we don't like" differs. We then moved onto thinking about how reading for learning differs from reading for other purposes. Blaze, Bret, Monica, and Baalika helped to distinguish between these ideas in reading and in writing. Lastly, we discussed the ways reading and writing are in concert. Amanda, Mia, and Jessica helped to explore ways of interrelationship between the two ways.
The goal of this conversation was to discuss what makes writing interesting and effective and how when we read other's works we need to think about being engaged with both the reading and with the writing that created the reading. In addition, we are beginning to develop the class's own rhetorical terminology for the writing process, so this discussion is contributing to that discourse.
We then held the first Informal peer workshop for students to read each other's essays. This exercise is meant to prompt the writer to come up with questions for the writers as well as ideas for their own essays. We had a three-prong method:
1. First we read as a "peer"-this means that we read the text looking for concerns of audience, expectations, and effective textual elements.
2. Then we read the paper as a "prof"-this means that we read the text looking for concerns of diction, syntax, and coherence. We looked for elements of unity and "fit" or "flow" in this manner. We also looked for word choice and sentence variety.
3. The we read as "the evil one"-this means that we read the text looking for the big connections i.e. between word, ideas, sentences, and the evidence of telling i.e. observations and showing i.e. evidence and support.
We are not making comments on grammar for this first peer review.
We then talked about crafting a revision plan. Your revision plan should use the feedback that you received from your peers. You will craft a short (250 word max) response following this structure.
I agree with: (list a few ideas that your peer contributed that you agree with)
I plan to (describe the changes that you will make to your texts)
my schedule for revisions is (list the a time frame for your work)
and I believe statement (forecast the success of your revision and polished documents)
I didn't have the chance to "check" your Elbow/Bartholomae exercises (i.e. cubing and questioning). Can you please post those on your blog or email them to me.
For Tuesday:
Read “The Persistence of Reading” Burkdall on moodle
Post a short summary and two questions of the reading on your blog
Craft a revision plan for your writing (post on blog)
Post your Elbow/Bartholomae writing exercise on your blog.
Thanks so much and have a great weekend,
Kat
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
For Friday
Hello all,
Today we opened class with a discussion about seeds and planting seeds. This discussion led into our exploration of our potential as writers.
We explored some of the suggestions for the syllabus. I have made those suggestions, and I reposted the document under moodle and I am emailing it to you all. Remember, we can always revise the syllabus, so let me know if you see anything that needs to be addressed. Thanks to Bret, Alison,Sarah, and Alex for suggestions.
We had a fantastic discussion about the Elbow/Barthlomae debate. Caitlin mentioned that Bartholomae only seemed to present one side of the argument, and Bret suggested that even through it was one-sided, the response to Elbow was very respectful and engaging. Baalika and Sarah (with some help from Dean) highlighted the level of academic prose and sentences in the work (which at times made reading the work difficult). Brenna focused her discussion on the notion of Bartholomae's underestimation of the students who are writing. Her point about the divorce example was really engaging. Some questions that we explored were: Dean's confusion at the utopian space and time in the classroom, Sarah's desire to know Bartholomae's writing background, and Sarah's focus on the experience of writing in the academy.
We then spent some time practicing Elbow and Barthlomae's methods in relation to our next stage of writing: thinking about what we want to write about for our project one narrative. We did both methods. Please bring these to class on Friday, so I can check them off.
Elbow (Cubing)
Describing: Physically describe your topic. What does it look like? What color, shape, texture, size is it? Identify its parts.
Comparing: How is your topic similar to other topics/things? How is it different?
Associating: What other topic/thing does your topic make you think of? Can you compare it to anything else in your experience? Don't be afraid to be creative here: include everything that comes to mind.
Analyzing: Look at your topic's components. How are these parts related? How is it put together? Where did it come from? Where is it going?
Bartholomae (Questioning)
Definition: Definition asks the writer to describe the nature of the topic. (What is X? What was X?) Take a fact or an idea and identify that fact or idea for the reader by providing a definition. Begin by using a dictionary or other sources of etymological meanings to define the subject or topic. For example: Rhetoric is the art of influencing the thought or action of an audience.The writer would then continue to define the subject or topic of rhetoric. Remember: there are many ways to define a topic. The writer may use a reference source definition, or the writer may choose to define a topic by what that topic is not. For example, a writer might define the color 'white' by saying that the color is the opposite of 'black.'
Analogy: Analogy asks the writer to reveal more about the topic by determining how the topic is similar or different from something else. (What is X like or unlike?) This method also helps to reveal what is known and unknown to the writer about the topic. Crafting an analogy also helps the writer to demonstrate the topics and arguments to be presented to the intended audience. For example: The brain is like a computer
3. Consequence: Also called Cause and Effect, Consequence asks the writer to consider how the topic came to be, to isolate what consequences the topic had or might have in the future, and to predict an outcome or behavior based on patterns that have already occurred. (What caused or causes or will cause X? What did X cause or is X causing or will X cause?) For example: If the new safety measures are not in place, the future of aviation will be in danger. Consequence requires the writer to elaborate upon the origins, development, and eventual outcome of a consequence from beginning to end. For example: If the new policy is not approved, the company will lose 50% of their customers to competitors.
4. Testimony: Also called Support from Evidence, Testimony asks the writer to use external sources of argumentation (expert opinions, factual data, statistics, and laws) to support arguments and claims. (What does an authority say about X?) For example: The Surgeon General’s report on the health risks of cigarette smoking. While the reliability and authority of external sources may be called into question, questioning the credibility of testimonials can be a good place for the writer’s own line of argument to begin.
Remember you will need to select one of the various areas to explore in your draft which is due on Friday. Your draft should be 2-3 pages long (ds) and needs to explore an aspect of the writing process.
We then had a short grammar time moment where we looked at sentences. Remember, you need to svo and svo;svo in your draft.
Assign:
Polish draft (2-30 pages) for Thursday review workshop (bring to class)
Make sure that you "see" me as a follower of your blog. If not email your blog url address.
Thanks so much and take care,
Kat
Today we opened class with a discussion about seeds and planting seeds. This discussion led into our exploration of our potential as writers.
We explored some of the suggestions for the syllabus. I have made those suggestions, and I reposted the document under moodle and I am emailing it to you all. Remember, we can always revise the syllabus, so let me know if you see anything that needs to be addressed. Thanks to Bret, Alison,Sarah, and Alex for suggestions.
We had a fantastic discussion about the Elbow/Barthlomae debate. Caitlin mentioned that Bartholomae only seemed to present one side of the argument, and Bret suggested that even through it was one-sided, the response to Elbow was very respectful and engaging. Baalika and Sarah (with some help from Dean) highlighted the level of academic prose and sentences in the work (which at times made reading the work difficult). Brenna focused her discussion on the notion of Bartholomae's underestimation of the students who are writing. Her point about the divorce example was really engaging. Some questions that we explored were: Dean's confusion at the utopian space and time in the classroom, Sarah's desire to know Bartholomae's writing background, and Sarah's focus on the experience of writing in the academy.
We then spent some time practicing Elbow and Barthlomae's methods in relation to our next stage of writing: thinking about what we want to write about for our project one narrative. We did both methods. Please bring these to class on Friday, so I can check them off.
Elbow (Cubing)
Describing: Physically describe your topic. What does it look like? What color, shape, texture, size is it? Identify its parts.
Comparing: How is your topic similar to other topics/things? How is it different?
Associating: What other topic/thing does your topic make you think of? Can you compare it to anything else in your experience? Don't be afraid to be creative here: include everything that comes to mind.
Analyzing: Look at your topic's components. How are these parts related? How is it put together? Where did it come from? Where is it going?
Bartholomae (Questioning)
Definition: Definition asks the writer to describe the nature of the topic. (What is X? What was X?) Take a fact or an idea and identify that fact or idea for the reader by providing a definition. Begin by using a dictionary or other sources of etymological meanings to define the subject or topic. For example: Rhetoric is the art of influencing the thought or action of an audience.The writer would then continue to define the subject or topic of rhetoric. Remember: there are many ways to define a topic. The writer may use a reference source definition, or the writer may choose to define a topic by what that topic is not. For example, a writer might define the color 'white' by saying that the color is the opposite of 'black.'
Analogy: Analogy asks the writer to reveal more about the topic by determining how the topic is similar or different from something else. (What is X like or unlike?) This method also helps to reveal what is known and unknown to the writer about the topic. Crafting an analogy also helps the writer to demonstrate the topics and arguments to be presented to the intended audience. For example: The brain is like a computer
3. Consequence: Also called Cause and Effect, Consequence asks the writer to consider how the topic came to be, to isolate what consequences the topic had or might have in the future, and to predict an outcome or behavior based on patterns that have already occurred. (What caused or causes or will cause X? What did X cause or is X causing or will X cause?) For example: If the new safety measures are not in place, the future of aviation will be in danger. Consequence requires the writer to elaborate upon the origins, development, and eventual outcome of a consequence from beginning to end. For example: If the new policy is not approved, the company will lose 50% of their customers to competitors.
4. Testimony: Also called Support from Evidence, Testimony asks the writer to use external sources of argumentation (expert opinions, factual data, statistics, and laws) to support arguments and claims. (What does an authority say about X?) For example: The Surgeon General’s report on the health risks of cigarette smoking. While the reliability and authority of external sources may be called into question, questioning the credibility of testimonials can be a good place for the writer’s own line of argument to begin.
Remember you will need to select one of the various areas to explore in your draft which is due on Friday. Your draft should be 2-3 pages long (ds) and needs to explore an aspect of the writing process.
We then had a short grammar time moment where we looked at sentences. Remember, you need to svo and svo;svo in your draft.
Assign:
Polish draft (2-30 pages) for Thursday review workshop (bring to class)
Make sure that you "see" me as a follower of your blog. If not email your blog url address.
Thanks so much and take care,
Kat
Friday, September 4, 2009
Hello all,
Today we spent some time exploring the mountains and writing.
DISCUSS
We started class with a discussion of our Blog postings on Peter Elbow’s ideas about writing. We discussed the various strategies and implementations that he advocates. We shared our success and our failures and strategies that we all use to write.
We spent some time in class doing some In-Class free-writing. This exercise encouraged the move to embracing thought and action not performance and product.
For Tuesday
ASSIGN
Read “The Elbow/Barthlomae Debate” on moodle (and attached to email)
Post short summary of reading with two questions on your blog
Review freewriting and select three areas for further exploration.
Do a freewriting at home for one or more of the three areas.
In addition, if you don’t “see” me as a follower to your blog, you need to email me so I can get you on the list.
Take care, and have a great weekend.
Kat
Today we spent some time exploring the mountains and writing.
DISCUSS
We started class with a discussion of our Blog postings on Peter Elbow’s ideas about writing. We discussed the various strategies and implementations that he advocates. We shared our success and our failures and strategies that we all use to write.
We spent some time in class doing some In-Class free-writing. This exercise encouraged the move to embracing thought and action not performance and product.
For Tuesday
ASSIGN
Read “The Elbow/Barthlomae Debate” on moodle (and attached to email)
Post short summary of reading with two questions on your blog
Review freewriting and select three areas for further exploration.
Do a freewriting at home for one or more of the three areas.
In addition, if you don’t “see” me as a follower to your blog, you need to email me so I can get you on the list.
Take care, and have a great weekend.
Kat
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Interesting Observations
How to Say Nothing in 500 Words
By Paul McHenry Roberts
Freshman composition, like everything else, has its share of fashions. In the 195Os, when this article was written, the most popular argument raging among student essayists was the proposed abolition of college football. With the greater social consciousness of the early '60s, the topic of the day became the morality of capital punishment. Topics may change, but the core principles of good writing remain constant, and this essay as become something of a minor classic in explaining them. Be concrete, says Roberts; get to the point; express your opinions colorfully. Refreshingly, he even practices what he preaches. His essay is humorous, direct, and almost salty in summarizing the working habits that all good prose writers must cultivate. — Editors' note from JoRay McCuen & Anthony C. Winkler's Readings for Writers , 3rd ed., Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1980
Paul McHenry Roberts (1917-1967) taught college English for over twenty years, first at San Jose State College and later at Cornell University. He wrote numerous books on linguistics, including Understanding Grammar (1954), Patterns of English (1956), and Understanding English (1958).
It's Friday afternoon, and you have almost survived another week of classes. You are just looking forward dreamily to the weekend when the English instructor says: "For Monday you will turn in a five hundred-word composition on college football."
Well, that puts a good hole in the weekend. You don't have any strong views on college football one way or the other. You get rather excited during the season and go to all the home games and find it rather more fun than not. On the other hand, the class has been reading Robert Hutchins in the anthology and perhaps Shaw's "Eighty-Yard Run," and from the class discussion you have got the idea that the instructor thinks college football is for the birds. You are no fool. You can figure out what side to take.
After dinner you get out the portable typewriter that you got for high school graduation. You might as well get it over with and enjoy Saturday and Sunday. Five hundred words is about two double-spaced pages with normal margins. You put in a sheet of paper, think up a title, and you're off:
WHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL SHOULD BE ABOLISHED
College football should be abolished because it's bad for the school and also for the players. The players are so busy practicing that they don't have any time for their studies.
This, you feel, is a mighty good start. The only trouble is that it's only thirty-two words. You still have four hundred and sixty-eight to go, and you've pretty well exhausted the subject. It comes to you that you do your best thinking in the morning, so you put away the typewriter and go to the movies. But the next morning you have to do your washing and some math problems, and in the afternoon you go to the game. The English instructor turns up too, and you wonder if you've taken the right side after all. Saturday night you have a date, and Sunday morning you have to go to church. (You can't let English assignments interfere with your religion.) What with one thing and another, it's ten o'clock Sunday night before you get out the typewriter again. You make a pot of coffee and start to fill out your views on college football. Put a little meat on the bones.
WHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL SHOULD BE ABOLISHED
In my opinion, it seems to me that college football should be abolished. The reason why I think this to be true is because I feel that football is bad for the colleges in nearly every respect. As Robert Hutchins says in his article in our anthology in which he discusses college football, it would be better if the colleges had race horses and had races with one another, because then the horses would not have to attend classes. I firmly agree with Mr. Hutchins on this point, and I am sure that many other students would agree too.
One reason why it seems to me that college football is bad is that it has become too commercial. In the olden times when people played football just for the fun of it, maybe college football was all right, but they do not play college football just for the fun of it now as they used to in the old days. Nowadays college football is what you might call a big business. Maybe this is not true at all schools, and I don't think it is especially true here at State, but certainly this is the case at most colleges and universities in America nowadays, as Mr. Hutchins points out in his very interesting article. Actually the coaches and alumni go around to the high schools and offer the high school stars large salaries to come to their colleges and play football for them. There was one case where a high school star was offered a convertible if he would play football for a certain college.
Another reason for abolishing college football is that it is bad for the players. They do not have time to get a college education, because they are so busy playing football. A football player has to practice every afternoon from three to six and then he is so tired that he can't concentrate on his studies. He just feels like dropping off to sleep after dinner, and then the next day he goes to his classes without having studied and maybe he fails the test.
(Good ripe stuff so far, but you're still a hundred and fifty-one words from home. One more push.)
Also I think college football is bad for the colleges and the universities because not very many students get to participate in it. Out of a college of ten thousand students only seventy-five or a hundred play football, if that many. Football is what you might call a spectator sport. That means that most people go to watch it but do not play it themselves.
(Four hundred and fifteen. Well, you still have the conclusion, and when you retype it, you can make the margins a little wider.)
These are the reasons why I agree with Mr. Hutchins that college football should be abolished in American colleges and universities.
On Monday you turn it in, moderately hopeful, and on Friday it comes back marked "weak in content" and sporting a big "D." This essay is exaggerated a little, not much. The English instructor will recognize it as reasonably typical of what an assignment on college football will bring in. He knows that nearly half of the class will contrive in five hundred words to say that college football is too commercial and bad for the players. Most of the other half will inform him that college football builds character and prepares one for life and brings prestige to the school. As he reads paper after paper all saying the same thing in almost the same words, all bloodless, five hundred words dripping out of nothing, he wonders how he allowed himself to get trapped into teaching English when he might have had a happy and interesting life as an electrician or a confidence man.
Well, you may ask, what can you do about it? The subject is one on which you have few convictions and little information. Can you be expected to make a dull subject interesting? As a matter of fact, this is precisely what you are expected to do. This is the writer's essential task. All subjects, except sex, are dull until somebody makes them interesting. The writer's job is to find the argument, the approach, the angle, the wording that will take the reader with him. This is seldom easy, and it is particularly hard in subjects that have been much discussed: College Football, Fraternities, Popular Music, Is Chivalry Dead?, and the like. You will feel that there is nothing you can do with such subjects except repeat the old bromides. But there are some things you can do which will make your papers, if not throbbingly alive, at least less insufferably tedious than they might otherwise be.
AVOID THE OBVIOUS CONTENT
Say the assignment is college football. Say that you've decided to be against it. Begin by putting down the arguments that come to your mind: it is too commercial, it takes the students' minds off their studies, it is hard on the players, it makes the university a kind of circus instead of an intellectual center, for most schools it is financially ruinous. Can you think of any more arguments, just off hand? All right. Now when you write your paper, make sure that you don' t use any of the material on this list. If these are the points that leap to your mind, they will leap to everyone else's too, and whether you get a "C" or a "D" may depend on whether the instructor reads your paper early when he is fresh and tolerant or late, when the sentence "In my opinion, college football has become too commercial," inexorably repeated, has bought him to the brink of lunacy.
Be against college football for some reason or reasons of your own. If they are keen and perceptive ones, that's splendid. But even if they are trivial or foolish or indefensible, you are still ahead so long as they are not everybody else's reasons too. Be against it because the colleges don't spend enough money on it to make it worthwhile, because it is bad for the characters of the spectators, because the players are forced to attend classes, because the football stars hog all the beautiful women, because it competes with baseball and is therefore un-American and possibly Communist-inspired. There are lots of more or less unused reasons for being against college football.
Sometimes it is a good idea to sum up and dispose of the trite and conventional points before going on to your own. This has the advantage of indicating to the reader that you are going to be neither trite nor conventional. Something like this:
We are often told that college football should be abolished because it has become too commercial or because it is bad for the players. These arguments are no doubt very cogent, but they don't really go to the heart of the matter.
Then you go to the heart of the matter.
TAKE THE LESS USUAL SIDE
One rather simple way of getting into your paper is to take the side of the argument that most of the citizens will want to avoid. If the assignment is an essay on dogs, you can, if you choose, explain that dogs are faithful and lovable companions, intelligent, useful as guardians of the house and protectors of children, indispensable in police work — in short, when all is said and done, man's best friends. Or you can suggest that those big brown eyes conceal, more often than not, a vacuity of mind and an inconstancy of purpose; that the dogs you have known most intimately have been mangy, ill-tempered brutes, incapable of instruction; and that only your nobility of mind and fear of arrest prevent you from kicking the flea-ridden animals when you pass them on the street.
Naturally personal convictions will sometimes dictate your approach. If the assigned subject is "Is Methodism Rewarding to the Individual?" and you are a pious Methodist, you have really no choice. But few assigned subjects, if any, will fall in this category. Most of them will lie in broad areas of discussion with much to be said on both sides. They are intellectual exercises, and it is legitimate to argue now one way and now another, as debaters do in similar circumstances. Always take the that looks to you hardest, least defensible. It will almost always turn out to be easier to write interestingly on that side.
This general advice applies where you have a choice of subjects. If you are to choose among "The Value of Fraternities" and "My Favorite High School Teacher" and "What I Think About Beetles," by all means plump for the beetles. By the time the instructor gets to your paper, he will be up to his ears in tedious tales about a French teacher at Bloombury High and assertions about how fraternities build character and prepare one for life. Your views on beetles, whatever they are, are bound to be a refreshing change.
Don't worry too much about figuring out what the instructor thinks about the subject so that you can cuddle up with him. Chances are his views are no stronger than yours. If he does have convictions and you oppose him, his problem is to keep from grading you higher than you deserve in order to show he is not biased. This doesn't mean that you should always cantankerously dissent from what the instructor says; that gets tiresome too. And if the subject assigned is "My Pet Peeve," do not begin, "My pet peeve is the English instructor who assigns papers on 'my pet peeve."' This was still funny during the War of 1812, but it has sort of lost its edge since then. It is in general good manners to avoid personalities.
SLIP OUT OF ABSTRACTION
If you will study the essay on college football [near the beginning of this essay], you will perceive that one reason for its appalling dullness is that it never gets down to particulars. It is just a series of not very glittering generalities: "football is bad for the colleges," "it has become too commercial," "football is big business," "it is bad for the players," and so on. Such round phrases thudding against the reader's brain are unlikely to convince him, though they may well render him unconscious.
If you want the reader to believe that college football is bad for the players, you have to do more than say so. You have to display the evil. Take your roommate, Alfred Simkins, the second-string center. Picture poor old Alfy coming home from football practice every evening, bruised and aching, agonizingly tired, scarcely able to shovel the mashed potatoes into his mouth. Let us see him staggering up to the room, getting out his econ textbook, peering desperately at it with his good eye, falling asleep and failing the test in the morning. Let us share his unbearable tension as Saturday draws near. Will he fail, be demoted, lose his monthly allowance, be forced to return to the coal mines? And if he succeeds, what will be his reward? Perhaps a slight ripple of applause when the third-string center replaces him, a moment of elation in the locker room if the team wins, of despair if it loses. What will he look back on when he graduates from college? Toil and torn ligaments. And what will be his future? He is not good enough for pro football, and he is too obscure and weak in econ to succeed in stocks and bonds. College football is tearing the heart from Alfy Simkins and, when it finishes with him, will callously toss aside the shattered hulk.
This is no doubt a weak enough argument for the abolition of college football, but it is a sight better than saying, in three or four variations, that college football (in your opinion) is bad for the players.
Look at the work of any professional writer and notice how constantly he is moving from the generality, the abstract statement, to the concrete example, the facts and figures, the illustrations. If he is writing on juvenile delinquency, he does not just tell you that juveniles are (it seems to him) delinquent and that (in his opinion) something should be done about it. He shows you juveniles being delinquent, tearing up movie theatres in Buffalo, stabbing high school principals in Dallas, smoking marijuana in Palo Alto. And more than likely he is moving toward some specific remedy, not just a general wringing of the hands.
It is no doubt possible to be too concrete, too illustrative or anecdotal, but few inexperienced writers err this way. For most the soundest advice is to be seeking always for the picture, to be always turning general remarks into seeable examples. Don't say, "Sororities teach girls the social graces." Say, "Sorority life teaches a girl how to carry on a conversation while pouring tea, without sloshing the tea into the saucer." Don't say, "I like certain kinds of popular music very much." Say, "Whenever I hear Gerber Sprinklittle play 'Mississippi Man' on the trombone, my socks creep up my ankles."
GET RID OF OBVIOUS PADDING
The student toiling away at his weekly English theme is too often tormented by a figure: five hundred words. How, he asks himself, is he to achieve this staggering total? Obviously by never using one word when he can somehow work in ten.
He is therefore seldom content with a plain statement like "Fast driving is dangerous." This has only four words in it. He takes thought, and the sentence becomes:
In my opinion, fast driving is dangerous.
Better, but he can do better still:
In my opinion, fast driving would seem to be rather dangerous.
If he is really adept, it may come out:
In my humble opinion. though I do not claim to be an expert on this complicated subject, test driving, in most circumstances, would seem to be rather dangerous in many respects, or at least so it would seem to me.
Thus four words have been turned into forty, and not an iota of content has been added.
Now this is a way to go about reaching five hundred words, and if you are content with a "D" grade, it is as good a way as any. But if you aim higher, you must work differently. Instead of stuffing your sentences with straw, you must try steadily to get rid of the padding, to make your sentences lean and tough. If you are really working at it, your first draft will greatly exceed the required total, and then you will work it down, thus:
It is thought in some quarters that fraternities do not contribute as much as might be expected to campus life.
Some people think that fraternities contribute little to campus life.
The average doctor who practices in small towns or in the country must toil night and day to heal the sick.
Most country doctors work long hours.
When I was a little girl, I suffered from shyness and embarrassment in the presence of others.
I was a shy little girl.
It is absolutely necessary for the person employed as a marine fireman to give the matter of steam pressure his undivided attention at all times.
The fireman has to keep his eye on the steam gauge.
You may ask how you can arrive at five hundred words at this rate. Simple. You dig up more real content. Instead of taking a couple of obvious points off the surface of the topic and then circling warily around them for six paragraphs, you work in and explore, figure out the details. You illustrate. You say that fast driving is dangerous, and then you prove it. How long does it take to stop a car at forty and at eighty? How far can you see at night? What happens when a tire blows? What happens in a head-on collision at fifty miles an hour?
Pretty soon your paper will be full of broken glass and blood and headless torsos, and reaching five hundred words will not really be a problem.
CALL A FOOL A FOOL
Some of the padding in freshman themes is to be blamed not on anxiety about the word minimum but on excessive timidity. The student writes, "In my opinion, the principal of my high school acted in ways that I believe every unbiased person would have to call foolish." This isn't exactly what he means. What he means is, "My high school principal was a fool." If he was a fool, call him a fool. Hedging the thing about with "in-my-opinion's" and "it-seems-to-me's" and "as-I-see-it's" and "at-least-from-my-point-of-view's" gains you nothing. Delete these phrases whenever they creep into your paper.
The student's tendency to hedge stems from a modesty that in other circumstances would be commendable. He is, he realizes, young and inexperienced, and he half suspects that he is dopey and fuzzyminded beyond the average. Probably only too true. But it doesn't help to announce your incompetence six times in every paragraph. Decide what you want to say and say it as vigorously as possible, without apology and in plain words.
Linguistic diffidence can take various forms. One is what we call euphemism. This is the tendency to call a spade "a certain garden implement" or women's underwear "unmentionables." It is stronger in some eras than others and in some people than others but it always operates more or less in subjects that are touchy or taboo: death, sex, madness, and so on. Thus we shrink from saying "He died last night" but say instead "passed away," "left us," "joined his Maker," "went to his reward." Or we try to take off the tension with a lighter cliché: "kicked the bucket," "cashed in his chips," "handed in his dinner pail." We have found all sorts of ways to avoid saying mad: "mentally ill," "touched," "not quite right upstairs," "feebleminded," "innocent," "simple," "off his trolley," "not in his right mind." Even such a now plain word as insane began as a euphemism with the meaning "not healthy."
Modern science, particularly psychology, contributes many polysyllables in which we can wrap our thoughts and blunt their force. To many writers there is no such thing as a bad schoolboy. Schoolboys are maladjusted or unoriented or misunderstood or in the need of guidance or lacking in continued success toward satisfactory integration of the personality as a social unit, but they are never bad. Psychology no doubt makes us better men and women, more sympathetic and tolerant, but it doesn't make writing any easier. Had Shakespeare been confronted with psychology, "To be or not to be" might have come out, "To continue as a social unit or not to do so. That is the personality problem. Whether 'tis a better sign of integration at the conscious level to display a psychic tolerance toward the maladjustments and repressions induced by one's lack of orientation in one's environment or — " But Hamlet would never have finished the soliloquy.
Writing in the modern world, you cannot altogether avoid modern jargon. Nor, in an effort to get away from euphemism, should you salt your paper with four-letter words. But you can do much if you will mount guard against those roundabout phrases, those echoing polysyllables that tend to slip into your writing to rob it of its crispness and force.
BEWARE OF PAT EXPRESSIONS
Other things being equal, avoid phrases like "other things being equal." Those sentences that come to you whole, or in two or three doughy lumps, are sure to be bad sentences. They are no creation of yours but pieces of common thought floating in the community soup.
Pat expressions are hard, often impossible, to avoid, because they come too easily to be noticed and seem too necessary to be dispensed with. No writer avoids them altogether, but good writers avoid them more often than poor writers.
By "pat expressions" we mean such tags as "to all practical intents and purposes," "the pure and simple truth," "from where I sit," "the time of his life," "to the ends of the earth," "in the twinkling of an eye," "as sure as you're born," "over my dead body," "under cover of darkness," "took the easy way out," "when all is said and done," "told him time and time again," "parted the best of friends," "stand up and be counted," "gave him the best years of her life," "worked her fingers to the bone." Like other clichés, these expressions were once forceful. Now we should use them only when we can't possibly think of anything else.
Some pat expressions stand like a wall between the writer and thought. Such a one is "the American way of life." Many student writers feel that when they have said that something accords with the American way of life or does not they have exhausted the subject. Actually, they have stopped at the highest level of abstraction. The American way of life is the complicated set of bonds between a hundred and eighty million ways. All of us know this when we think about it, but the tag phrase too often keeps us from thinking about it.
So with many another phrase dear to the politician: "this great land of ours," "the man in the street," "our national heritage." These may prove our patriotism or give a clue to our political beliefs, but otherwise they add nothing to the paper except words.
COLORFUL WORDS
The writer builds with words, and no builder uses a raw material more slippery and elusive and treacherous. A writer's work is a constant struggle to get the right word in the right place, to find that particular word that will convey his meaning exactly, that will persuade the reader or soothe him or startle or amuse him. He never succeeds altogether — sometimes he feels that he scarcely succeeds at all — but such successes as he has are what make the thing worth doing.
There is no book of rules for this game. One progresses through everlasting experiment on the basis of ever-widening experience. There are few useful generalizations that one can make about words as words, but there are perhaps a few.
Some words are what we call "colorful." By this we mean that they are calculated to produce a picture or induce an emotion. They are dressy instead of plain, specific instead of general, loud instead of soft. Thus, in place of "Her heart beat," we may write, "her heart pounded, throbbed, fluttered, danced." Instead of "He sat in his chair," we may say, "he lounged, sprawled, coiled." Instead of "It was hot," we may say, "It was blistering, sultry, muggy, suffocating, steamy, wilting."
However, it should not be supposed that the fancy word is always better. Often it is as well to write "Her heart beat" or "It was hot" if that is all it did or all it was. Ages differ in how they like their prose. The nineteenth century liked it rich and smoky. The twentieth has usually preferred it lean and cool. The twentieth century writer, like all writers, is forever seeking the exact word, but he is wary of sounding feverish. He tends to pitch it low, to understate it, to throw it away. He knows that if he gets too colorful, the audience is likely to giggle.
See how this strikes you: "As the rich, golden glow of the sunset died away along the eternal western hills, Angela's limpid blue eyes looked softly and trustingly into Montague's flashing brown ones, and her heart pounded like a drum in time with the joyous song surging in her soul." Some people like that sort of thing, but most modern readers would say, "Good grief," and turn on the television.
COLORED WORDS
Some words we would call not so much colorful as colored — that is, loaded with associations, good or bad. All words — except perhaps structure words — have associations of some sort. We have said that the meaning of a word is the sum of the contexts in which it occurs. When we hear a word, we hear with it an echo of all the situations in which we have heard it before.
In some words, these echoes are obvious and discussible. The word mother, for example, has, for most people, agreeable associations. When you hear mother you probably think of home, safety, love, food, and various other pleasant things. If one writes, "She was like a mother to me," he gets an effect which he would not get in "She was like an aunt to me." The advertiser makes use of the associations of mother by working it in when he talks about his product. The politician works it in when he talks about himself.
So also with such words as home, liberty, fireside, contentment, patriot, tenderness, sacrifice, childlike, manly, bluff, limpid. All of these words are loaded with associations that would be rather hard to indicate in a straightforward definition. There is more than a literal difference between "They sat around the fireside" and "They sat around the stove." They might have been equally warm and happy around the stove, but fireside suggests leisure, grace, quiet tradition, congenial company, and stove does not.
Conversely, some words have bad associations. Mother suggests pleasant things, but mother-in-law does not. Many mothers-in-law are heroically lovable and some mothers drink gin all day and beat their children insensible, but these facts of life are beside the point. The point is that mother sounds good and mother-in-law does not.
Or consider the word intellectual. This would seem to be a complimentary term, but in point of fact it is not, for it has picked up associations of impracticality and ineffectuality and general dopiness. So also such words as liberal, reactionary, Communist, socialist, capitalist, radical, schoolteacher, truck driver; operator, salesman, huckster, speculator. These convey meaning on the literal level, but beyond that — sometimes, in some places — they convey contempt on the part of the speaker.
The question of whether to use loaded words or not depends on what is being written. The scientist, the scholar, try to avoid them; for the poet, the advertising writer, the public speaker, they are standard equipment. But every writer should take care that they do not substitute for thought. If you write, "Anyone who thinks that is nothing but a Socialist (or Communist or capitalist)" you have said nothing except that you don't like people who think that, and such remarks are effective only with the most naive readers. It is always a bad mistake to think your readers more naive than they really are.
COLORLESS WORDS
But probably most student writers come to grief not with words that are colorful or those that are colored but with those that have no color at all. A pet example is nice, a word we would find it hard to dispense with in casual conversation but which is no longer capable of adding much to a description. Colorless words are those of such general meaning that in a particular sentence they mean nothing. Slang adjectives like cool ("That's real cool") tend to explode all over the language. They are applied to everything, lose their original force, and quickly die.
Beware also of nouns of very general meaning, like circumstances, cases, instances, aspects, factors, relationships, attitudes, eventualities, etc. In most circumstances you will find that those cases of writing which contain too many instances of words like these will in this and other aspects have factors leading to unsatisfactory relationships with the reader resulting in unfavorable attitudes on his part and perhaps other eventualities, like a grade of "D." Notice also what etc. means. It means "I'd like to make this list longer, but I can't think of any more examples."
This essay was written by Paul McHenry Roberts
By Paul McHenry Roberts
Freshman composition, like everything else, has its share of fashions. In the 195Os, when this article was written, the most popular argument raging among student essayists was the proposed abolition of college football. With the greater social consciousness of the early '60s, the topic of the day became the morality of capital punishment. Topics may change, but the core principles of good writing remain constant, and this essay as become something of a minor classic in explaining them. Be concrete, says Roberts; get to the point; express your opinions colorfully. Refreshingly, he even practices what he preaches. His essay is humorous, direct, and almost salty in summarizing the working habits that all good prose writers must cultivate. — Editors' note from JoRay McCuen & Anthony C. Winkler's Readings for Writers , 3rd ed., Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1980
Paul McHenry Roberts (1917-1967) taught college English for over twenty years, first at San Jose State College and later at Cornell University. He wrote numerous books on linguistics, including Understanding Grammar (1954), Patterns of English (1956), and Understanding English (1958).
It's Friday afternoon, and you have almost survived another week of classes. You are just looking forward dreamily to the weekend when the English instructor says: "For Monday you will turn in a five hundred-word composition on college football."
Well, that puts a good hole in the weekend. You don't have any strong views on college football one way or the other. You get rather excited during the season and go to all the home games and find it rather more fun than not. On the other hand, the class has been reading Robert Hutchins in the anthology and perhaps Shaw's "Eighty-Yard Run," and from the class discussion you have got the idea that the instructor thinks college football is for the birds. You are no fool. You can figure out what side to take.
After dinner you get out the portable typewriter that you got for high school graduation. You might as well get it over with and enjoy Saturday and Sunday. Five hundred words is about two double-spaced pages with normal margins. You put in a sheet of paper, think up a title, and you're off:
WHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL SHOULD BE ABOLISHED
College football should be abolished because it's bad for the school and also for the players. The players are so busy practicing that they don't have any time for their studies.
This, you feel, is a mighty good start. The only trouble is that it's only thirty-two words. You still have four hundred and sixty-eight to go, and you've pretty well exhausted the subject. It comes to you that you do your best thinking in the morning, so you put away the typewriter and go to the movies. But the next morning you have to do your washing and some math problems, and in the afternoon you go to the game. The English instructor turns up too, and you wonder if you've taken the right side after all. Saturday night you have a date, and Sunday morning you have to go to church. (You can't let English assignments interfere with your religion.) What with one thing and another, it's ten o'clock Sunday night before you get out the typewriter again. You make a pot of coffee and start to fill out your views on college football. Put a little meat on the bones.
WHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL SHOULD BE ABOLISHED
In my opinion, it seems to me that college football should be abolished. The reason why I think this to be true is because I feel that football is bad for the colleges in nearly every respect. As Robert Hutchins says in his article in our anthology in which he discusses college football, it would be better if the colleges had race horses and had races with one another, because then the horses would not have to attend classes. I firmly agree with Mr. Hutchins on this point, and I am sure that many other students would agree too.
One reason why it seems to me that college football is bad is that it has become too commercial. In the olden times when people played football just for the fun of it, maybe college football was all right, but they do not play college football just for the fun of it now as they used to in the old days. Nowadays college football is what you might call a big business. Maybe this is not true at all schools, and I don't think it is especially true here at State, but certainly this is the case at most colleges and universities in America nowadays, as Mr. Hutchins points out in his very interesting article. Actually the coaches and alumni go around to the high schools and offer the high school stars large salaries to come to their colleges and play football for them. There was one case where a high school star was offered a convertible if he would play football for a certain college.
Another reason for abolishing college football is that it is bad for the players. They do not have time to get a college education, because they are so busy playing football. A football player has to practice every afternoon from three to six and then he is so tired that he can't concentrate on his studies. He just feels like dropping off to sleep after dinner, and then the next day he goes to his classes without having studied and maybe he fails the test.
(Good ripe stuff so far, but you're still a hundred and fifty-one words from home. One more push.)
Also I think college football is bad for the colleges and the universities because not very many students get to participate in it. Out of a college of ten thousand students only seventy-five or a hundred play football, if that many. Football is what you might call a spectator sport. That means that most people go to watch it but do not play it themselves.
(Four hundred and fifteen. Well, you still have the conclusion, and when you retype it, you can make the margins a little wider.)
These are the reasons why I agree with Mr. Hutchins that college football should be abolished in American colleges and universities.
On Monday you turn it in, moderately hopeful, and on Friday it comes back marked "weak in content" and sporting a big "D." This essay is exaggerated a little, not much. The English instructor will recognize it as reasonably typical of what an assignment on college football will bring in. He knows that nearly half of the class will contrive in five hundred words to say that college football is too commercial and bad for the players. Most of the other half will inform him that college football builds character and prepares one for life and brings prestige to the school. As he reads paper after paper all saying the same thing in almost the same words, all bloodless, five hundred words dripping out of nothing, he wonders how he allowed himself to get trapped into teaching English when he might have had a happy and interesting life as an electrician or a confidence man.
Well, you may ask, what can you do about it? The subject is one on which you have few convictions and little information. Can you be expected to make a dull subject interesting? As a matter of fact, this is precisely what you are expected to do. This is the writer's essential task. All subjects, except sex, are dull until somebody makes them interesting. The writer's job is to find the argument, the approach, the angle, the wording that will take the reader with him. This is seldom easy, and it is particularly hard in subjects that have been much discussed: College Football, Fraternities, Popular Music, Is Chivalry Dead?, and the like. You will feel that there is nothing you can do with such subjects except repeat the old bromides. But there are some things you can do which will make your papers, if not throbbingly alive, at least less insufferably tedious than they might otherwise be.
AVOID THE OBVIOUS CONTENT
Say the assignment is college football. Say that you've decided to be against it. Begin by putting down the arguments that come to your mind: it is too commercial, it takes the students' minds off their studies, it is hard on the players, it makes the university a kind of circus instead of an intellectual center, for most schools it is financially ruinous. Can you think of any more arguments, just off hand? All right. Now when you write your paper, make sure that you don' t use any of the material on this list. If these are the points that leap to your mind, they will leap to everyone else's too, and whether you get a "C" or a "D" may depend on whether the instructor reads your paper early when he is fresh and tolerant or late, when the sentence "In my opinion, college football has become too commercial," inexorably repeated, has bought him to the brink of lunacy.
Be against college football for some reason or reasons of your own. If they are keen and perceptive ones, that's splendid. But even if they are trivial or foolish or indefensible, you are still ahead so long as they are not everybody else's reasons too. Be against it because the colleges don't spend enough money on it to make it worthwhile, because it is bad for the characters of the spectators, because the players are forced to attend classes, because the football stars hog all the beautiful women, because it competes with baseball and is therefore un-American and possibly Communist-inspired. There are lots of more or less unused reasons for being against college football.
Sometimes it is a good idea to sum up and dispose of the trite and conventional points before going on to your own. This has the advantage of indicating to the reader that you are going to be neither trite nor conventional. Something like this:
We are often told that college football should be abolished because it has become too commercial or because it is bad for the players. These arguments are no doubt very cogent, but they don't really go to the heart of the matter.
Then you go to the heart of the matter.
TAKE THE LESS USUAL SIDE
One rather simple way of getting into your paper is to take the side of the argument that most of the citizens will want to avoid. If the assignment is an essay on dogs, you can, if you choose, explain that dogs are faithful and lovable companions, intelligent, useful as guardians of the house and protectors of children, indispensable in police work — in short, when all is said and done, man's best friends. Or you can suggest that those big brown eyes conceal, more often than not, a vacuity of mind and an inconstancy of purpose; that the dogs you have known most intimately have been mangy, ill-tempered brutes, incapable of instruction; and that only your nobility of mind and fear of arrest prevent you from kicking the flea-ridden animals when you pass them on the street.
Naturally personal convictions will sometimes dictate your approach. If the assigned subject is "Is Methodism Rewarding to the Individual?" and you are a pious Methodist, you have really no choice. But few assigned subjects, if any, will fall in this category. Most of them will lie in broad areas of discussion with much to be said on both sides. They are intellectual exercises, and it is legitimate to argue now one way and now another, as debaters do in similar circumstances. Always take the that looks to you hardest, least defensible. It will almost always turn out to be easier to write interestingly on that side.
This general advice applies where you have a choice of subjects. If you are to choose among "The Value of Fraternities" and "My Favorite High School Teacher" and "What I Think About Beetles," by all means plump for the beetles. By the time the instructor gets to your paper, he will be up to his ears in tedious tales about a French teacher at Bloombury High and assertions about how fraternities build character and prepare one for life. Your views on beetles, whatever they are, are bound to be a refreshing change.
Don't worry too much about figuring out what the instructor thinks about the subject so that you can cuddle up with him. Chances are his views are no stronger than yours. If he does have convictions and you oppose him, his problem is to keep from grading you higher than you deserve in order to show he is not biased. This doesn't mean that you should always cantankerously dissent from what the instructor says; that gets tiresome too. And if the subject assigned is "My Pet Peeve," do not begin, "My pet peeve is the English instructor who assigns papers on 'my pet peeve."' This was still funny during the War of 1812, but it has sort of lost its edge since then. It is in general good manners to avoid personalities.
SLIP OUT OF ABSTRACTION
If you will study the essay on college football [near the beginning of this essay], you will perceive that one reason for its appalling dullness is that it never gets down to particulars. It is just a series of not very glittering generalities: "football is bad for the colleges," "it has become too commercial," "football is big business," "it is bad for the players," and so on. Such round phrases thudding against the reader's brain are unlikely to convince him, though they may well render him unconscious.
If you want the reader to believe that college football is bad for the players, you have to do more than say so. You have to display the evil. Take your roommate, Alfred Simkins, the second-string center. Picture poor old Alfy coming home from football practice every evening, bruised and aching, agonizingly tired, scarcely able to shovel the mashed potatoes into his mouth. Let us see him staggering up to the room, getting out his econ textbook, peering desperately at it with his good eye, falling asleep and failing the test in the morning. Let us share his unbearable tension as Saturday draws near. Will he fail, be demoted, lose his monthly allowance, be forced to return to the coal mines? And if he succeeds, what will be his reward? Perhaps a slight ripple of applause when the third-string center replaces him, a moment of elation in the locker room if the team wins, of despair if it loses. What will he look back on when he graduates from college? Toil and torn ligaments. And what will be his future? He is not good enough for pro football, and he is too obscure and weak in econ to succeed in stocks and bonds. College football is tearing the heart from Alfy Simkins and, when it finishes with him, will callously toss aside the shattered hulk.
This is no doubt a weak enough argument for the abolition of college football, but it is a sight better than saying, in three or four variations, that college football (in your opinion) is bad for the players.
Look at the work of any professional writer and notice how constantly he is moving from the generality, the abstract statement, to the concrete example, the facts and figures, the illustrations. If he is writing on juvenile delinquency, he does not just tell you that juveniles are (it seems to him) delinquent and that (in his opinion) something should be done about it. He shows you juveniles being delinquent, tearing up movie theatres in Buffalo, stabbing high school principals in Dallas, smoking marijuana in Palo Alto. And more than likely he is moving toward some specific remedy, not just a general wringing of the hands.
It is no doubt possible to be too concrete, too illustrative or anecdotal, but few inexperienced writers err this way. For most the soundest advice is to be seeking always for the picture, to be always turning general remarks into seeable examples. Don't say, "Sororities teach girls the social graces." Say, "Sorority life teaches a girl how to carry on a conversation while pouring tea, without sloshing the tea into the saucer." Don't say, "I like certain kinds of popular music very much." Say, "Whenever I hear Gerber Sprinklittle play 'Mississippi Man' on the trombone, my socks creep up my ankles."
GET RID OF OBVIOUS PADDING
The student toiling away at his weekly English theme is too often tormented by a figure: five hundred words. How, he asks himself, is he to achieve this staggering total? Obviously by never using one word when he can somehow work in ten.
He is therefore seldom content with a plain statement like "Fast driving is dangerous." This has only four words in it. He takes thought, and the sentence becomes:
In my opinion, fast driving is dangerous.
Better, but he can do better still:
In my opinion, fast driving would seem to be rather dangerous.
If he is really adept, it may come out:
In my humble opinion. though I do not claim to be an expert on this complicated subject, test driving, in most circumstances, would seem to be rather dangerous in many respects, or at least so it would seem to me.
Thus four words have been turned into forty, and not an iota of content has been added.
Now this is a way to go about reaching five hundred words, and if you are content with a "D" grade, it is as good a way as any. But if you aim higher, you must work differently. Instead of stuffing your sentences with straw, you must try steadily to get rid of the padding, to make your sentences lean and tough. If you are really working at it, your first draft will greatly exceed the required total, and then you will work it down, thus:
It is thought in some quarters that fraternities do not contribute as much as might be expected to campus life.
Some people think that fraternities contribute little to campus life.
The average doctor who practices in small towns or in the country must toil night and day to heal the sick.
Most country doctors work long hours.
When I was a little girl, I suffered from shyness and embarrassment in the presence of others.
I was a shy little girl.
It is absolutely necessary for the person employed as a marine fireman to give the matter of steam pressure his undivided attention at all times.
The fireman has to keep his eye on the steam gauge.
You may ask how you can arrive at five hundred words at this rate. Simple. You dig up more real content. Instead of taking a couple of obvious points off the surface of the topic and then circling warily around them for six paragraphs, you work in and explore, figure out the details. You illustrate. You say that fast driving is dangerous, and then you prove it. How long does it take to stop a car at forty and at eighty? How far can you see at night? What happens when a tire blows? What happens in a head-on collision at fifty miles an hour?
Pretty soon your paper will be full of broken glass and blood and headless torsos, and reaching five hundred words will not really be a problem.
CALL A FOOL A FOOL
Some of the padding in freshman themes is to be blamed not on anxiety about the word minimum but on excessive timidity. The student writes, "In my opinion, the principal of my high school acted in ways that I believe every unbiased person would have to call foolish." This isn't exactly what he means. What he means is, "My high school principal was a fool." If he was a fool, call him a fool. Hedging the thing about with "in-my-opinion's" and "it-seems-to-me's" and "as-I-see-it's" and "at-least-from-my-point-of-view's" gains you nothing. Delete these phrases whenever they creep into your paper.
The student's tendency to hedge stems from a modesty that in other circumstances would be commendable. He is, he realizes, young and inexperienced, and he half suspects that he is dopey and fuzzyminded beyond the average. Probably only too true. But it doesn't help to announce your incompetence six times in every paragraph. Decide what you want to say and say it as vigorously as possible, without apology and in plain words.
Linguistic diffidence can take various forms. One is what we call euphemism. This is the tendency to call a spade "a certain garden implement" or women's underwear "unmentionables." It is stronger in some eras than others and in some people than others but it always operates more or less in subjects that are touchy or taboo: death, sex, madness, and so on. Thus we shrink from saying "He died last night" but say instead "passed away," "left us," "joined his Maker," "went to his reward." Or we try to take off the tension with a lighter cliché: "kicked the bucket," "cashed in his chips," "handed in his dinner pail." We have found all sorts of ways to avoid saying mad: "mentally ill," "touched," "not quite right upstairs," "feebleminded," "innocent," "simple," "off his trolley," "not in his right mind." Even such a now plain word as insane began as a euphemism with the meaning "not healthy."
Modern science, particularly psychology, contributes many polysyllables in which we can wrap our thoughts and blunt their force. To many writers there is no such thing as a bad schoolboy. Schoolboys are maladjusted or unoriented or misunderstood or in the need of guidance or lacking in continued success toward satisfactory integration of the personality as a social unit, but they are never bad. Psychology no doubt makes us better men and women, more sympathetic and tolerant, but it doesn't make writing any easier. Had Shakespeare been confronted with psychology, "To be or not to be" might have come out, "To continue as a social unit or not to do so. That is the personality problem. Whether 'tis a better sign of integration at the conscious level to display a psychic tolerance toward the maladjustments and repressions induced by one's lack of orientation in one's environment or — " But Hamlet would never have finished the soliloquy.
Writing in the modern world, you cannot altogether avoid modern jargon. Nor, in an effort to get away from euphemism, should you salt your paper with four-letter words. But you can do much if you will mount guard against those roundabout phrases, those echoing polysyllables that tend to slip into your writing to rob it of its crispness and force.
BEWARE OF PAT EXPRESSIONS
Other things being equal, avoid phrases like "other things being equal." Those sentences that come to you whole, or in two or three doughy lumps, are sure to be bad sentences. They are no creation of yours but pieces of common thought floating in the community soup.
Pat expressions are hard, often impossible, to avoid, because they come too easily to be noticed and seem too necessary to be dispensed with. No writer avoids them altogether, but good writers avoid them more often than poor writers.
By "pat expressions" we mean such tags as "to all practical intents and purposes," "the pure and simple truth," "from where I sit," "the time of his life," "to the ends of the earth," "in the twinkling of an eye," "as sure as you're born," "over my dead body," "under cover of darkness," "took the easy way out," "when all is said and done," "told him time and time again," "parted the best of friends," "stand up and be counted," "gave him the best years of her life," "worked her fingers to the bone." Like other clichés, these expressions were once forceful. Now we should use them only when we can't possibly think of anything else.
Some pat expressions stand like a wall between the writer and thought. Such a one is "the American way of life." Many student writers feel that when they have said that something accords with the American way of life or does not they have exhausted the subject. Actually, they have stopped at the highest level of abstraction. The American way of life is the complicated set of bonds between a hundred and eighty million ways. All of us know this when we think about it, but the tag phrase too often keeps us from thinking about it.
So with many another phrase dear to the politician: "this great land of ours," "the man in the street," "our national heritage." These may prove our patriotism or give a clue to our political beliefs, but otherwise they add nothing to the paper except words.
COLORFUL WORDS
The writer builds with words, and no builder uses a raw material more slippery and elusive and treacherous. A writer's work is a constant struggle to get the right word in the right place, to find that particular word that will convey his meaning exactly, that will persuade the reader or soothe him or startle or amuse him. He never succeeds altogether — sometimes he feels that he scarcely succeeds at all — but such successes as he has are what make the thing worth doing.
There is no book of rules for this game. One progresses through everlasting experiment on the basis of ever-widening experience. There are few useful generalizations that one can make about words as words, but there are perhaps a few.
Some words are what we call "colorful." By this we mean that they are calculated to produce a picture or induce an emotion. They are dressy instead of plain, specific instead of general, loud instead of soft. Thus, in place of "Her heart beat," we may write, "her heart pounded, throbbed, fluttered, danced." Instead of "He sat in his chair," we may say, "he lounged, sprawled, coiled." Instead of "It was hot," we may say, "It was blistering, sultry, muggy, suffocating, steamy, wilting."
However, it should not be supposed that the fancy word is always better. Often it is as well to write "Her heart beat" or "It was hot" if that is all it did or all it was. Ages differ in how they like their prose. The nineteenth century liked it rich and smoky. The twentieth has usually preferred it lean and cool. The twentieth century writer, like all writers, is forever seeking the exact word, but he is wary of sounding feverish. He tends to pitch it low, to understate it, to throw it away. He knows that if he gets too colorful, the audience is likely to giggle.
See how this strikes you: "As the rich, golden glow of the sunset died away along the eternal western hills, Angela's limpid blue eyes looked softly and trustingly into Montague's flashing brown ones, and her heart pounded like a drum in time with the joyous song surging in her soul." Some people like that sort of thing, but most modern readers would say, "Good grief," and turn on the television.
COLORED WORDS
Some words we would call not so much colorful as colored — that is, loaded with associations, good or bad. All words — except perhaps structure words — have associations of some sort. We have said that the meaning of a word is the sum of the contexts in which it occurs. When we hear a word, we hear with it an echo of all the situations in which we have heard it before.
In some words, these echoes are obvious and discussible. The word mother, for example, has, for most people, agreeable associations. When you hear mother you probably think of home, safety, love, food, and various other pleasant things. If one writes, "She was like a mother to me," he gets an effect which he would not get in "She was like an aunt to me." The advertiser makes use of the associations of mother by working it in when he talks about his product. The politician works it in when he talks about himself.
So also with such words as home, liberty, fireside, contentment, patriot, tenderness, sacrifice, childlike, manly, bluff, limpid. All of these words are loaded with associations that would be rather hard to indicate in a straightforward definition. There is more than a literal difference between "They sat around the fireside" and "They sat around the stove." They might have been equally warm and happy around the stove, but fireside suggests leisure, grace, quiet tradition, congenial company, and stove does not.
Conversely, some words have bad associations. Mother suggests pleasant things, but mother-in-law does not. Many mothers-in-law are heroically lovable and some mothers drink gin all day and beat their children insensible, but these facts of life are beside the point. The point is that mother sounds good and mother-in-law does not.
Or consider the word intellectual. This would seem to be a complimentary term, but in point of fact it is not, for it has picked up associations of impracticality and ineffectuality and general dopiness. So also such words as liberal, reactionary, Communist, socialist, capitalist, radical, schoolteacher, truck driver; operator, salesman, huckster, speculator. These convey meaning on the literal level, but beyond that — sometimes, in some places — they convey contempt on the part of the speaker.
The question of whether to use loaded words or not depends on what is being written. The scientist, the scholar, try to avoid them; for the poet, the advertising writer, the public speaker, they are standard equipment. But every writer should take care that they do not substitute for thought. If you write, "Anyone who thinks that is nothing but a Socialist (or Communist or capitalist)" you have said nothing except that you don't like people who think that, and such remarks are effective only with the most naive readers. It is always a bad mistake to think your readers more naive than they really are.
COLORLESS WORDS
But probably most student writers come to grief not with words that are colorful or those that are colored but with those that have no color at all. A pet example is nice, a word we would find it hard to dispense with in casual conversation but which is no longer capable of adding much to a description. Colorless words are those of such general meaning that in a particular sentence they mean nothing. Slang adjectives like cool ("That's real cool") tend to explode all over the language. They are applied to everything, lose their original force, and quickly die.
Beware also of nouns of very general meaning, like circumstances, cases, instances, aspects, factors, relationships, attitudes, eventualities, etc. In most circumstances you will find that those cases of writing which contain too many instances of words like these will in this and other aspects have factors leading to unsatisfactory relationships with the reader resulting in unfavorable attitudes on his part and perhaps other eventualities, like a grade of "D." Notice also what etc. means. It means "I'd like to make this list longer, but I can't think of any more examples."
This essay was written by Paul McHenry Roberts
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
For Friday
Welcome to the class!!
I am so happy to get to meet you all, and I look forward to a stellar semester!
In class today, we discussed:
The course syllabus (posted on moodle and emailed to you all). Since the syllabus is our contract, I would like to hear your feedback on the syllabus. Please review the document and make three suggestions for the document and the class. You will want to bring these suggestions to class on Friday, so that we can revise the draft of the syllabus.
We also spent some time reviewing the technology for the class. First you will need to be able to access moodle. You can access moodle through the myeckerd.edu portal.
You will also need to create a blog at blogger.com. Following the creation of your blog, you will want to go to the class blog writingprocessFall 2009.blogspot.com and select "follow." Clicking this link will ensure that I can see your posts and that you can see my posts.
I have also posted an extra credit on the blog so that you can continue the joy of class.
For Friday
ASSIGN
Create three critiques/suggestions of the syllabus (posted on the moodle page and emailed to you)
Read i.e. watch Peter Elbow
Post a short summary of the video with two questions (on your blog). The posting should be around 200 words.
Post short reflection about your skills as a writer. List one time when you enjoyed or were successful as a writer.
Take care, and see you on Friday,
Kat
I am so happy to get to meet you all, and I look forward to a stellar semester!
In class today, we discussed:
The course syllabus (posted on moodle and emailed to you all). Since the syllabus is our contract, I would like to hear your feedback on the syllabus. Please review the document and make three suggestions for the document and the class. You will want to bring these suggestions to class on Friday, so that we can revise the draft of the syllabus.
We also spent some time reviewing the technology for the class. First you will need to be able to access moodle. You can access moodle through the myeckerd.edu portal.
You will also need to create a blog at blogger.com. Following the creation of your blog, you will want to go to the class blog writingprocessFall 2009.blogspot.com and select "follow." Clicking this link will ensure that I can see your posts and that you can see my posts.
I have also posted an extra credit on the blog so that you can continue the joy of class.
For Friday
ASSIGN
Create three critiques/suggestions of the syllabus (posted on the moodle page and emailed to you)
Read i.e. watch Peter Elbow
Post a short summary of the video with two questions (on your blog). The posting should be around 200 words.
Post short reflection about your skills as a writer. List one time when you enjoyed or were successful as a writer.
Take care, and see you on Friday,
Kat
Welcome to the Course!
The goals of the course are to introduce students to college-level writing and critical reading, to give students instruction and practice in writing and reading college-level essays, and to make students aware of how various audiences and rhetorical situations call for different choices in language, structure, format, and tone. Students receive instruction and practice that allows them to clearly articulate their audience, purpose, and rhetorical situation for writing assignments. Reading assignments stress how and why authors make rhetorical choices and are designed both to immerse students in written language and to develop critical thinking, reading, and writing skills.
In this course, students practice processes appropriate for college reading and writing: identifying rhetorical contexts (audiences and purposes) common in academic discourse and writing about personal experience as well as academic readings. By writing and revising several essays, students refine their prewriting, drafting, and revising strategies to produce focused and detailed papers.
During the course of the class, you will create two portfolios, which mimic the Eckerd College Portfolio requirement. The first portfolio will encompass the first half of the course. This portfolio will include short annotated reflections for two writing exercises. The second portfolio will encompass the second half of the course. This portfolio will include short annotated reflections for two writing exercises.
In this course, students practice processes appropriate for college reading and writing: identifying rhetorical contexts (audiences and purposes) common in academic discourse and writing about personal experience as well as academic readings. By writing and revising several essays, students refine their prewriting, drafting, and revising strategies to produce focused and detailed papers.
During the course of the class, you will create two portfolios, which mimic the Eckerd College Portfolio requirement. The first portfolio will encompass the first half of the course. This portfolio will include short annotated reflections for two writing exercises. The second portfolio will encompass the second half of the course. This portfolio will include short annotated reflections for two writing exercises.
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